How Did I Rise Up and Become A Victor After My First Break-up? & How You Can Too.

I was bitter as a three-week-old cat poo for four years. My pride and ego took off like a rocket. I didn’t want to ask others for help to help me get over my first break-up because I felt ashamed and didn’t want anyone to know my business. I was angry, pissed, sad, and depressed at the world. I questioned the universe, “Why Me? Why Do I Have to Suffer? What could I have done better?” These questions played in my head over and over again. I isolated myself from my friends for a month because I didn’t want to hear about their loving, happy relationships. To numb my pain, I ate sweets and salty snacks. My stubbornness soon took effect on my loved ones, and they resented me for how I handled my break-up. For which I couldn’t blame them at the time because I would have felt the same way. I was too hung up on the coulda, woulda, should a, and the what-ifs. I felt even more powerless, not in control, angry, and depressed.

After the split, mutual friends I had through my ex-boyfriend made a choice to either stay or go, and one stayed, and the rest packed their bags and left. At the time, I couldn’t understand why God allowed this to happen to me? I was so angry at the world, and for what God had allowed happening to me that has a good heart and character to be left broken-hearted. But in my mess, God had allowed this experience to help me see that we both weren’t walking on the same path together, and we were on two different pages in life. He wanted to travel and study abroad and have someone in his life that he could talk about what he liked and enjoyed, such as politics, business, and economics while I enjoyed the pop culture and community news and wanted to stay home and finish up college and be with my hometown friends. With that, God helped me to realize that two people can’t be together if they are not on the same page.

With all of this said, to release and let go of any bitterness and anger you may feel about a love relationship is to realize that God took that person out of your life so that you will not be miserable and lonely. You have to allow God to work on your heart to forgive yourself and that other person. Bible verses to meditate on and release and forgive are Ephesians 4:31-32 and Romans 12:17-21. Ephesians 4:31-32 ESV says, “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Romans 12:17-21 ESV says, “Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” God wants the very best for you, and He will provide that special someone in His timing and not yours.

When you wait on God’s timing, you will not be sorry. His timing is always perfect, and His ways will help you see that you did not miss out on anything by being with that other person. This enabled me to not be as bitter as three-week-old cat poo anymore. I hope this helps you if you are going through a break-up or still feel resentful and angry towards your ex after some time. Take care, and have a good one.

Published by Allistar Banks-Author

Allistar Banks is a multi-genre author of several books ranging from children to young adult fiction. A Professional Pet Sitter by day, novelist by night, she received her Bachelor of Science degree in Mass Communications from Lander University. A McCormick, SC native, she is a lover of southern cuisine, the mountains, local art, and history.

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