As a child of a single mom, I am used to being open and sharing how I feel. While she instilled the fear of God in me that if I ever did drugs, drove drunk, got pregnant as a teen, or had my body covered in tattoos, she would pull me by the ear around town. While I was in middle and high school, my mom experienced three relationships that rocked her world. One relationship lasted for three years, the second one roughly a year, and the last relationship lasted for eight months. After 2007, my mom stayed single and focused on her career, taking care of my elderly grandmother, my brother, making friends, and concentrate on loving herself. And with that, she began the healing process of healing from her last boyfriend and practicing self-love.
Now being an adult of someone who is dating is somewhat weird. It can be messy and hurtful having your mom have three relationships from the time I was in middle school up until the time I was a sophomore in high school. I had already lived having my mom to date when I was a middle and high schooler, and I’m here to share my advice.
The first piece of advice is to be there for your parents but set boundaries. I tell my mom basically everything, and I want her to do the same for me except sharing the most intimate details of her past relationships. I want you to hear your parents out and let them share their feelings and emotions with you and tell them what you feel most comfortable hearing about.
The second piece of advice is to try to see it from their side. When I think about how much my mom must have felt when introducing me to her first boyfriend since my dad in the sixth grade, I felt sympathy for her. I am a pretty kind person, and I want to welcome others with open arms. At first, it was awkward being around another man since my dad. All I ever knew was my dad. I was in a new territory that brought to the table different personalities and backgrounds trying to collide together as one. Whatever emotions you’re feeling about your mom or dad dating, they are going to feel it 10-fold. It can be uncomfortable, so they’re bound to make mistakes, and emotions are at stake. But take heart that they see you out as well.
Your mom or dad is going to need some severe empathy from you. Even if you really wish that you weren’t teaching them how to create an online dating profile, they want for you to be chill about meeting their new significant other. See it from their perspective and try your very best to be happy for them because they deserve to have love and affection.
The third piece of advice is don’t compare your relationship to theirs.
The fourth piece of advice is don’t make affection a competition. Try to avoid competing with your parent’s partner for your mom or dad’s love. If you try to call your mom or dad about how to cook something and they don’t answer their cell phone, know that you’re not less important than their date. They just need that time to be out on a date and building a love relationship with someone. Let them have their space and know that nothing good comes easy, especially when it comes to love.
The fifth piece of advice is to let them know what’s important to you. You want your time set aside to spend time with your mom and dad apart from their significant other to keep that positive relationship between the two of you.
The sixth piece of advice is don’t get in the middle of your parents. Let your parents resolve their arguments on their own.
The seventh piece of advice is to know that they’re still your same old parent. When my mom was initially in the dating world before committing to her long-term boyfriend, she was hot on the market (just kidding, mom!). She’s still my fun-loving, bold, and sassy mom who loves to dress up or down, make you laugh until you pee in your pants, enjoy the beautiful things in life, and the first person to get out on the dance floor. It may seem like your parent is obsessed over trying out new things and focuses in their life, but deep down, they’re still your same old silly parent. Try not to make things too weird for them, and their new beau just make sure you get your one-on-one with them. You’ll probably see that everything is not as Topsy-turvy as it once seemed.